Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
