Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
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