this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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