69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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