i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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