We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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