sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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