Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
