At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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