that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
