they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
