i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
