I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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