Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
