she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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