she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
im six kinds of drunk right now
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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