my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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