He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
