The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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