Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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