and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
