My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
ugly people sure do ruin things
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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