ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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