what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
