Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
