Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
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