Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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