why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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