if i can run in heels then i can drive
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sext me about skeletons
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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