They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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