You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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