Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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