did you get engaged???
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I look better un-naked...
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
