using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
