Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
