dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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