Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
