Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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