I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
