Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
