A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
