Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
