She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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