I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
