No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
