Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
