dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
