you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
