Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
