she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
