We won't sleep together?
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
