New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
