We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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