its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Ketchup is God's man juice
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
